Welcome, welcome. It’s Sunday again and I have my coffee, so we’re all set for another morning together; me reflecting on my week – and hopefully you on yours. Hello!
If I’m being totally honest, I’m really struggling with the motivation to write this one.
It feels a little bit like that toy that you got when you were a kid, that you were desperate for your parents to buy for you, even though they said that “you’d play with it for 5 minutes, and then the novelty would wear off and you’d never play with it again” – you know the one. For me, this was a once a Dance Mat that plugged into our PlayStation 2, like the ones in the arcade, with the arrows that you ‘stomp’ in time to the music?
Anyway, now that thing is this blog series. I feel like, now in week #4 the novelty of the theme is starting to run dry and I’m really close to casting it aside, leaving it to gather dust underneath under the bed (aka in the archive of this blog).
Yet, with all of that being true, I feel like we’re going to persevere.
Because, mostly, I and starting to realise that it’s probably just fear talking. It’s fear that people are going to stop reading these posts because they’re bored. It’s fear that these posts are going to get boring. It’s fear that even though I love writing, I’m not actually very good at it. It’s fear that these posts won’t fulfil some higher purpose ?!
But equally, I know that people are reading it (hi, hello!). People are telling me that they are enjoying it. They keep coming back and reading it again and again. It’s the perfectionist in me – my all-or-nothing mindset – which is telling me to give up.
Yet, none of these things should matter. I write every Sunday morning for my own personal development at a writer. For the routine. The fact that this theme gives me the opportunity to look back at my week, at all the good and all the not-so-good, is really just a by-product of my will to write more consistently. People don’t need to like it or read it for it to be valid or important. It doesn’t need to be perfect every week. It doesn’t need to be an oscar-nomination-worthy. It just needs to be written.
Thanks for sticking with me through, potentially, the most long-winded intro to any blog post ever written.
How are you?
I’ve had a bit of a weird week; with the University (where I work – albeit not geographically where I work at the moment) was closed, so I had all of Easter weekend, plus the rest of this past week, off. Mostly. After settling into the routine of working from home, and my boyfriend still on a normal working week, I was apprehensive about having a full week off to myself with no routine. Which is why, to appease my anxious brain, I opted to cover some hours ‘at work’ – to make sure that the (virtual) office wasn’t tumbling down in our absence (they weren’t).
In reality, the completely free days were actually fine. This week has absolutely flown by in a blur of no-routine activities.
I did a lot of yoga again this week. I had time to do more writing. I walked and I ran. I caught up on some of my favourite podcasts. I chatted to friends for longer than I would normally have time to do so. I deep-cleaned our kitchen (a mundane and not-enjoyable-at-the-time task, but one that really needed doing). I finished my book.
There were a couple of days when I wanted, more than anything, to take myself outside for the day and sit in a cafe, or trawl the charity shops for more books to read, which was frustrating and the first time I’ve really longed for ‘the old normal’. But I also had days that were just fine. I actually had a jolly nice time and settled into no-routine pretty well.
And that’s kinda of it, for this week. The intro got out of hand, but I think (in fact I know) that there will be people out there who can relate. We perfectionists are a quiet, misunderstood, bunch. I can highly recommend Sam Laura Brown and her blog, Instagram and podcast, for anyone who wants to dig a little deeper into Perfectionism and how to challenge the thoughts that go with it hand-in-hand.
Until next time,